When is a refrigerator door not a refrigerator door?

So, for no discernible reason the door of my freeze has stopped closing properly. The seal is just not sealing.

This leads to everything in the freezer being covered in a bit of frost as, to it's credit, the cooling element valiantly tries to counter act the freezer's new open door policy.

This is not, I admit a big issue, as it is solved by just slamming the hell out of the door when you close it.

Still...it's yet another design failure.

Alternate Use #9

The casing for your time machine.

In truth, I've already done this. I was building my time machine and realized that the attractive stainless steel exterior of my own GE appliance was exactly the outer shell my delicate electronics needed. It wasn't functioning as a refrigerator so I decided to turn it into a MACHINE OF THE FUTURE!

Or the past. It's totally your choice, I put in a little knob that has a variety of dates you can chose from.

I'm actually going to try it out this afternoon. If you are reading this and the United States won the Revolutionary War, you know my experiment was a success!

Ahem...

GE has reported that profits for the last quarter were down 35%.

Now...I'm not saying there is a correlation, but their drop in profits matches up just about perfectly with the time I started this blog.

Okay, I am totally saying there is a correlation.

I can't decide if I should extort money from the other multinational conglomerates (lest I turn my godlike powers in their direction) or build myself a hidden bunker in order to avoid the assassin squads the aforementioned multinational conglomerates are sure to send after me.

I suppose I could do both.

Alternate Use #8

Dropping on the Real Housewives of New York City.


Because, these women are, without a doubt, the worst people on the entire planet. Kim Jong-il thinks they are despicable and deluded. I heard that Hilter and Jeffery Dahmer were watching telvision in hell and Satan allowed them to change the channel when this show came on because not even he, the Lord of Flies himself, could take more than five minutes of the torment which is anything to do with these women.

Believe it or not, suggesting that someone should drop a major household appliance on them is actually me stepping back a bit.

I was originally going to suggest that a GE refrigerator would be awesome for storing the dismembered body parts of these plasticine, self-centered, harridans but after reflection, I decided against posting that.

I mean, the freezer would stop working and those bitches would spoil.

Alternate Use #7

Devastatingly effective soapbox derby car.

Alternate Use #6

Cover in a firefight.

Alternate Use #5

Fancy coffin.